Jangan Pisahkan -Phyne Ballerz

I just suck at reassuring. No matter what I do to cheer someone up, I'm not able to get him/her to calm down.

I'm looking at the post, thinking of what to write, but nothing will come to mind.

What if one of your friends suddenly sends you a suicide SMS?
My response: I start to get worried. Even more so when she doesn't respond when I replied. Furthermore when I sent another message the next day and she still doesn't reply. That's when paranoia got to me. The whole of the following days I kept pondering over whether she was still alive. I forced myself to read the New Paper, hopefully not to discover any article concerning a girl in her teens committing suicide. The irony.

Well, friends with problems, I try to help. But it's when I didn't manage to cheer them up, will then it will become my problem.

"Where did I go wrong? Was it something I said?"

Then I will start to brood about it, about the problems they face, and then think of optimistic ways to cheer them up. Initiating the optimistic side of myself, I tried to console them.

But time and time again failure hit me.


Today was the 2nd FYP meeting. The things I thought (who confirm?) in the train seriously killed the mood for the rest of the day. I apologise to my teammates, Shaq, Alvin and Ace for the black clouds that you guys saw surrounding me.

The incident that happened 2 months ago suddenly made a toll on me (that didn't come out right, but whatever) and I became more depressed as usual.

I lost a friend.